Night of The Zombies

For this month's issue I decided to bring you more reviews of films made in other countries. This month's entries come from England, Australia , Japan and even some places most schoolkids couldnt point to on a map. Dont get me wrong, I do like American cinema. I just dislike most American Cinema. To be fair, there are some pretty shitty movies made in other countries too. To prove that point Ive listed two bad films: one made in Europe, the other in Canada. These are the types of films that are so bad theyre fun to watch, especially with friends or drugs and alcohol (which are my friends). So, with that in mind, I present:

'The Ugly' (1997) directed by Scott Reynolds
Starring: Paolo Rotondo, Rebecca Hobbs, Roy Ward

While this film is not without its faults, The Ugly is above average fare for low budget/straight-to-video horror. The best thing the film has going for it is the director, who did a good job at working within the limitations of his budget, much like Tarantino did with Reservoir Dogs. Any guerilla filmmaker can explain that trick of making a small film successful with the three Ds: DIALOGUE, DIALOGUE, DIALOGUE! The result is a pretty compelling little movie with a good story, well-written characters and decent acting. The look of the film is very stylized and the overall impact is impressive, but the director utilizes the NYPD Blue-like jerky, unfocused camera technique to the point of distraction in some scenes. If you dont get nauseous from these types shots and like a good serial killer story youll probably enjoy this film.

'Two Hands' (1999) directed by Gregor Jordan
Starring: Heath Ledger, Bryan Johnson, Rose Byrne

Heath Ledger and Bryan Johnson team up in this Aussie crime story/black comedy. Before continuing I have to mention that this film has a slapstick gag in one scene that was funny enough to nearly cause me to laugh myself into incontinence. This movie may have its clichd characters and over-stylization, complete with synchronized rock music, but it works well in my book.. I even enjoyed the cheesy-makeup-wearing zombie narrator, who prompts you to ask, What the hell is this guy in the movie for? (until later in the film...). The story moves quickly with some likeable good and evil characters and unexpected plot twists, including the aforementioned slapstick gag. Ledger does a decent job as a nice guy who happens to have a latent criminal streak, which circumstances keep turning him toward. Johnson, as the leader of a low-rent heist crew offering work to the desperate protagonist, plays a great white trash Aussie scumbag. This ones worth watching on cable if you enjoy the genre.

'Nil by Mouth' (1997) directed by Gary Oldman
Starring: Ray Winstone, Cathy Burke, Charlie Creed-Miles

Oldman deserves every ounce of praise given to this picture. Just as Vincent Gallo did in his quasi-autobiographical film, Buffalo '66, Oldman has created a highly personal and painful examination of the human condition. The films realistic portrayal of the life of an abusive, alcoholic, small-time East London criminal should have earned some attention at Oscar time, but who the fuck are we kidding, right?. Ray Winstones performance was easily the best of 1997. As much as I revere Martin Scorcese, this film easily surpasses Mean Streets for cinema verite. If youre someone who enjoys movies that can convey stark emotional impact, you shouldnt pass this one up. (Be patient with the cockney accents; you can get used to them.)

Tokyo Fist (1995) directed by Shinya Tsukamoto
Starring: Shinya Tsukamoto, Kahori Fujii

This film is director Tsukamoto's best work. What you have here is the Japanese predecessor to Fight Club, with a smaller scale story. The overall look is very manga-like but the acting, camerawork, and story is on a totally different cinematic level than the primitive Tetsuo films (Iron Man and Body Hammer). These latter films rely totally on the biotech/cyberpunk concept from Tsukamoto's very own blueprint for the entire momentum of the film, and cinematically (especially the sequel) they leave much to be desired. In Tokyo Fist the director works in a totally organic arena (except for some HEAVY body modification scenes) with a compelling Nietzschean theme. The result is an adrenaline-charged endurance ride, which shouldnt be missed by any fans of the genre.

'Night of the Zombies' (1981) directed by Joel M. Reed
Starring: Jamie Gillis, Samantha Grey

The first time I saw this picture was during the era of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark movies in the early '80s. (around the age of 13 or so). It really seemed a lot more interesting and suspenseful at the time, but I guess this was the first time commercial breaks actually enhanced the viewing of a feature film on TV!!! After buying the movie for a few bucks in a drug store a couple years back I have to say the film has a lot going against it. Bad European actors, bad special effects and Jamie Gillis -- thats right, 70s and '80s porn legend Jamie Gillis. (Boy, I dont know how this guy never became the next Bruce Willis.) This movie started with the great idea of a secret Nazi combat unit of invincible soldiers, but never developed anything cohesive out of it. Jamie Gillis plays a super spy on Quaaludes who tracks down the mysterious lost SS unit. I think the budget ran out halfway through production on this one, because the film had some cool Bavarian location shots but ended up in some tents in the woods for the last quarter of the movie. This movie is really bad, I mean, its so bad that its good.

'Zombie Nightmare' (1986) directed by Jack Bravman
Starring: Adam West, Jon Mikl Thor, Tia Carrere

Someone other than myself has drawn parallels between the plot of this stinker and I Know What you Did last Summer, but this film is sooo much more! Its really just a basic zombie revenge story with a love story subplot. This film definitely features Adam West, as the police inspector, in his second best performance. His only finer work, in my opinion, was in Young Lady Chatterley II. There are so many memorable bad parts in this smelly little stinker, but I think my favorite moment in the film is the scene in which Molly Mekembe, the Haitian voodoo priestess, is contacted to revive the recently deceased Tony (who becomes the Zombie I guess has a nightmare?). Her dialogue and delivery sounds just like a Percy Pringle speech. For those of you more refined folks whore asking, who the hell is Percy Pringle? He's the fat goth guy who carried around an urn and dressed like an undertaker in the WWF. Jon Mikl Thor, of the mullet-rockin' metal band Thor, is almost as priceless. His fight scene in the grocery store is amazing for its example as the worst fight choreography ever scene in a movie. The only thing that would have enhanced it wouldve been to show it in slow motion. Sadly, I never had the MST3K experience with this film. I rented it hoping for early career nudity from Ms. Carrere, but alas, no dice. She looks great in the film nonetheless and overall its definitely worth watching for some good gut laughs.

Celluloid Junkie ( celluloidjunkie@toosquare.com )

Comment on this article in the forum