Celluloid Junkies Fix On Film

Joyful Kwanzaa, Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah. Have you found all the items on your holiday shopping lists yet? I've actually got almost all of my shopping done at this point, and frankly I'm shocked at this aberrant behavior on my part. I know I've been digressing from my true task of talking Tinseltown for the last few issues of TooSquare, so with this month's offering I shall return to the immortal world of celluloid.
The holiday season is the second biggest period for movie releases, so this month I'm sharing my views on a few of the recently released, early-season attempts at your hard-earned entertainment dollars from the big studios. Being the anti-establishment chap that I am, trust me when I say I'd really rather be sharing info/reviews on new releases from the "art house" genre, but I just don't have enough cash to check out that many films. PLUS, I get to see three for the price of one when I go to my local neighborhood multiplex. I did see one pretty interesting Australian entry to video market, so I'll end today with that recommendation.

Domestic Disturbance (directed by Harold Becker; starring John Travolta and Vince Vaughn)

This type of big budget studio pap is exactly what one expects from the likes of Sir Travolta, but the fact that it included the more "indie-credible" (pun intended) talents of Vaughn and Buscemi (who were apparently slashed in a Wilmington, N.C., barfight/redneck deathmatch during the shoot) managed to suck the money right out of my wallet despite my reservations. The movie, like most typical Tinseltown offerings, resembles a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift that's nothing more than an empty box. Mr. Travolta plays the world's cleanest old-fashioned yacht-maker, who's torn when his ex-wife takes their "troubled" son and re-marries to mysterious, handsome businessman Vaughn (they never really say what type of business he's involved in, but it's really, really important because he got the big civic award after only two years!!). Vaughn's perfect image crumbles after he finds out his dark past isn't as far behind him as he thought ... blah, blah, blah.

OK, enough with this drivel. It's not nearly as interesting as it sounds. This film couldn't have been more vanilla flavored if it starred Kathy Lee Gifford. What you end up with here are enough credibility gaps to drive a gas tanker through, the typical WGA-inspired, two-dimensional characters and, all in all, an experience that begs the question after one and a half hours of tedium (I laughed at every inappropriate place in the finale -- just to piss off the sheep who were enjoying this garbage): Wouldn't this film have done better if it was made for Lifetime Network For Women, or better yet, PAX? (Of course, that's only if you take out that one "edgy" F-bomb from Vincie.) If you want edgy, go check out the new Barbet Schroeder film about Medellin hustlers and lets all help this cinematic spoor to die a quick, natural death.

Heist (directed by David Mamet; starring Gene Hackman, Danny Devito, Delroy Lindo, Rebecca Pidgeon and Sam Rockwell)

If you're a fan of David Mamet, you probably know that he's best known for his razor sharp, clipped dialogue style and plots with more twists than rotini pasta. He's a versatile director who has worked in several genres successfully in the past, but is perhaps best known for his forays into the world of criminal characters. With Heist, Mamet has come as close to making an action film as he can while maintaining his readily identifiable style. Gene Hackman plays a weary jewel thief who is one big score short of a retirement necessitated by a blown job in the beginning of the film. Danny Devito plays the fast-talking Jewish mobster who commissions Hackman and his reformed team (comprised of girlfriend Rebecca Pidgeon, right-hand-man Delroy Lindo, human basset hound Ricky Jay, and Devito's own sleazy nephew, played by Sam Rockwell, as a watchdog for the double-cross) for this last big score of a Swiss gold shipment. If you enjoy a good heist movie then you'll probably be pretty pleased with this offering. I happen to love the details in crime pictures as much, if not more, than the action (I guess that's why I've always been hooked on real crime stories) and Mamet is a master of the minutia here. The plot moves quite rapidly, chocked full of the familiar dialogue and plot surprises, with dozens of memorable "Mametisms." many of which made me laugh out loud. I think my favorite one liner came from an increasingly pissed off Lindo during the first heist in the film: "Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the road crossed the chicken!!"(I would've added a "motherfucker" for good measure.) This film is far from perfect, but rates quite favorably when compared to the usual action offerings. The acting is very strong and I'd recommend this film to all who are looking for an hour and a half of good illegal fun.

Bandits (directed by Barry Levinson; starring Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton and Cate Blanchett)

Before I get to the review for this film, I have to start out by saying that I have a real problem with Hollywood's prejudice against portraying bald men realistically. Being follically challenged myself (at least a little bit) I find it highly irritating when big movie stars like Bruce Willis show up in a movie wearing a ridiculously unnatural-looking wig like he does in this film. Billy Bob wears a rug too, but it isn't nearly as bad as the fake-ass long hair that "Mr. Die Hard" sports throughout the picture. OK. I feel better now. I could really get into a diatribe here but, ahhhhh. Enough.

Barry Levinson is a very talented director whose biggest strength lies in portraying the vulnerable side of the human condition in a way that's highly appealing to both big audiences and film connoisseurs alike. The screenwriter, Harley Peyton, gives us a fresh idea about nonviolent bank robbers with genuinely sympathetic characters that cater to Levinson's directorial style. Thornton and Willis play the "Sleepover Bandits," a duo named for their modus operandi in a string of bank robberies across the Northwest. The two are recent prison escapees who hatch a plan to visit the managers of banks at their homes the night before robberies, in order to enter the banks with all the necessary codes that keep the alarms turned off. Willis plays a typical rakish stud, complete with the aforementioned fake-ass wig, in an adequate but average performance. Thornton, however, really shines as a genius-level IQ-bearing hypochondriac who works as the brains of the outfit in tandem with Willis and their mildly retarded, unemployed stunt man/makeup artist getaway driver. Cate Blanchett plays an attention-starved yuppie housewife who comes "crashing" into the picture when circumstances put a police-fleeing, panic-stricken Thornton on the hood of her speeding Mercedes. Like Thornton, Ms. Blanchett does a great job with her role. The plot progresses quickly (even at a longer-than-average length the film flows by easily) and before you know it, Cate joins the Bandits both on the job and in the sack (first with Willis of course, then with the nerdy Thornton) while becoming a national celebrity herself. Other than my gripe with the wig situation, my only other disappointment with this film (and it's a minor one, really) is its Hollywood ending, which was probably inspired by test marketing prior to a final print being released nationwide. I do recommend the film for its smart dialogue, inventive plot and strong acting.

New on Video:

Chopper (directed by Andrew Dominik; starring Eric Bana)

Mark "Chopper" Read is an Australian lowlife who parlayed his less-than-successful criminal enterprises into a highly successful career as both author and all-around media celebrity/cult figure in his native land. The well known (in Australia anyway) story of a small-scale hoodlum lurking around the fringes of Melbourne's underworld is presented in a highly stylized manner, with dogme-esque lighting and generous amounts of hyper-realistic violence. Eric Bana's chillingly effective in his portrayal of the tattooed bully who became famous for outsmarting one warden during a prison stretch by having another inmate sever half of each of his ears with a razor blade. (This is shown on screen with amazing realism -- I'm still unsure if they used CGI or prosthetics for the numerous bloodletting scenes.) With all the aforementioned praise included, keep in mind that the film is low budget and does drag at times, but is worth watching overall for the strong performances from the entire cast, who accurately give a gritty look at the lives of Australian scumbags in the late''70s/early '80s. A sidenote: Chopper has his own Web site, ( http://www.chopperthemovie.com/ ) which gives you an opportunity to purchase one of his near half-dozen books or rock 'n' roll records.

Celluloid Junkie